Not Within Walking Distance
by 2shy the Shippy
Summary: Rated: Strong T for language and almost sexual situations. "Earlier on, when their working relationship was young, they almost went there. It was so long ago, but Donna could remember it so vividly." Donna/Harvey UST


Disclaimer: Just a broke college student. I don't own a thing except my laptop.

Heads Up: Apparently you can't use symbols (or I don't know how) to signify a lapse of time. So, if a part seems confusing to you, that is because there are supposed to asterisks (and some other sign I don't know the name for). So, for a day or two-maybe less, the story will be without a time signifier until I figure out what to do.

(Not Within) Walking Distance

"To see, touch, taste, smell, hear, but never know if it's real"- The Cure, "More Than This"

It could never be anything more than a stolen moment. This stolen moment, along with the others, was just that, moments. In time, these moments would become memories of a great romance that never was—a great romance that could have never been. It would forever linger on the cusp of reality; be within grasp, but it would never be.

In that moment, that hour, that second all that existed was Harvey. Donna wished she could inhale his essence and let it spread within her being, so she could have a part of him even if it wasn't physical. At times, even when they aren't thinking about it, the tension between them is palpable. It—the love, the intimacy, the passion—existed, but could never be explored. The yearning and the craving were real, but would always be unresolved.

If anyone were to catch them, he or she would believe that they just interrupted two lovers. Donna's back, literally, was against the wall and she and Harvey were in an embrace. Harvey's left arm was loosely wrapped around her waist and his right hand gently held her left wrist. He was slowly caressing her wrist back and forth with his thumb. Their foreheads were touching and their mouths were less than millimeters apart.

Harvey overwhelmed Donna, but she wasn't going to complain because she didn't mind. She would take the moments she could get. It wasn't as if Harvey was withholding or forsaking anything from her, but there were rules and boundaries. Despite that fact that she was the one to set them, she relished the rare moments when they touched, even if it wasn't in the way that she truly desired.

At any moment, they could be caught in their quaint little corner of the bar. Although they were hidden from view, it didn't mean that someone couldn't easily stumble across them. It wasn't much of a hiding place and they weren't necessarily trying to hide—they just wanted a moment alone together: just the two of them…not talking. They wanted to be. To exist for one another in this space and time. Just for a moment. Just to be, be, be…

But, if someone were to catch them…

People thought that Donna and Harvey were either having sex or dating. They wanted to understand the closeness that the two shared, which was defined with elementary interpretation. In their minds, men and women couldn't be friends, especially if these same friends felt emotions that went deeper than friendship. They couldn't understand that some things were better left unexplored. As much as Donna longed to see what they could be, the risk was way higher than the reward. She would be losing more than a boss, but a friend as well and so much more that couldn't be put into words.

Of course, none of their co-workers knew anything beyond their speculation.

Earlier on, when their working relationship was young, they almost went there. It was so long ago, but Donna could remember it so vividly. She could remember the first day they officially met after weeks of playing cat and mouse.

Fade in…

As Donna walked into the lobby, Harvey Specter fell into step with her.

The secretary looked at the ADA before speaking, "Is there anything I can help you with, Harvey?"

Harvey looked at her and grinned. "Yes, join me for lunch."

Donna didn't know what to think. She knew Harvey had been sniffing around her for weeks, but she didn't know why exactly. Harvey was the kind of man who just went for what he wanted. He never tipped his hand, but he seemed to have wanted her to know he had something up his sleeve. Donna had an idea of why he was keeping tabs on her, but she knew there was more to his interest in her than he was letting on, which wasn't much. It unnerved her she didn't know what he was after. She felt as if he was about to blindside her. That whatever this lunch was about would change everything—it terrified her, but she wanted to know…she had to know.

"Only if I get to choose the restaurant," Donna bargained.

"I'm guessing it's going to be expensive and exclusive?" Harvey raised an eyebrow as he waited for a car.

"This is me we are talking about; I deserve the best," Donna said as Harvey opened the door for her. "If you are going to wine and dine me, it's not going to be cheap."

"And what if I can't get in?" He sat down next to her and straightened his suit.

"Then I guess we won't be eating lunch together."

Donna didn't know if she was seeing things or not, but she could swear that Harvey Specter was staring at her with admiration.

Harvey stared at her for a moment before addressing the driver, "Ray, the lady will tell you where we are going."

Unsurprisingly, Harvey didn't need reservations to get into a restaurant that had been booked for months. Donna had tried to get eat there the previous week and they went on about how she needed reservations to get in.

And, of course, they would get the best seat in the house.

They ordered their food and had small talk. Donna wanted to order the most expensive meal on the menu to put a dent in Harvey's pocket, but she knew he wouldn't break a sweat if she did. Harvey had a decent paycheck, but she knew he didn't make that much to be able to afford drivers, expensive restaurants and meals. He was continuing to unnerve her—it was as if he was anticipating her next move and had planned accordingly. So, she ordered a delicious looking, but one of the least expensive meals on the menu. Her order made Harvey raise an eyebrow.

Donna smiled at him as if to say 'I'm on to you'.

As the two waited for their food, they had small talk. Donna could tell that Harvey was waiting until the food came before he told her about whatever he invited her to lunch for.

When the food did come, they ate for a few minutes in silence before Donna cut to the chase. "Did you invite me to lunch to ask me to be Miranda's temp during her maternity leave?"

Harvey moved the food around on his plate before addressing her. He gave her direct eye contact. "No, I invited you here to ask you to be Miranda's permanent replacement."

Donna choked on her food. "Excuse me," she took a sip of her water.

"What do you know about me, Donna?"

"Umm...you are quickly making a name for yourself as an ADA. You are projected to be absolutely as good as Cameron Dennis in a few years." Donna was still trying to wrap her head around what Harvey just said.

"Better. I'm projected to be better than Cameron," he said confidently. "My point is: in order for me to be great at my job, I'm going to need an assistant to be on top of her job."

"Miranda is a great secretary," Donna defended.

"Miranda is great, but you are better." Harvey shot back. "Also, for you, being a legal secretary is not a job, but a career. You want to go places. You want to make a name for yourself. As great as Miranda has been, these past few months her production has been decreasing and I know you've been picking up her slack."

"She's had some personal issues going on, but that is all resolved now."

"No, she's had boyfriend issues going on," Harvey took a bite of his food before continuing. "She is letting her personal issues crowd her professional obligations."

As much she hated to admit it, Harvey was right and he knew he was right. It was obvious from the way he spoke; he had done his homework on his current secretary. Harvey Specter wasn't a fool and Donna should have known better than to think he wasn't going to catch on to Miranda.

There were many great lawyers at the District Attorney's office, but there was something about Harvey that stood out about him. Yes, he reeked of confidence, but it was clear that not only did he believe he was going to be successful he knew it. Donna couldn't put her finger on what it was about him that made him so different. Why is it that he success seemed more tangible in relation to others?

Only a fool would name the obvious as if it weren't. No one needed to be told how intelligent, driven, hardworking, and serious Harvey was. Oh, there were a thousand other adjectives to describe him, but Donna was looking for his unknown edge, not what everyone else already knew.

"She's my friend. I—I—I can't just take her job," Donna responded honestly. "I'm not that kind of person."

Silence enveloped the table and the two District Attorney employees stared at one another. Although Donna didn't know what to say next, she had a feeling that Harvey knew exactly what he wanted to say.

"Donna, I'm going to give you some advice and I expect you to take it seriously," Harvey said in a no non-sense tone. He undid a button on his suit jacket and leaned forward. Despite the relaxed body language, she could tell Harvey meant business.

"Okay," The word came out slowly and was tinged with a dash of uncertainty.

"Cut Miranda loose," Straight to the point and unapologetic. "My rule of thumb is: if someone isn't adding to your life, they are subtracting from it. You have too much ambition to be held down by her."

Donna looked at Harvey at disbelief. "I don't know what you think you know about me, Harvey Specter, but one thing is certain: I won't let you or anyone else dictate who I should and should not be friends with."

"Do you want to know why I am so good at my job?" The waiter approached the table and Harvey held up his hand to tell him not interrupt. "Because I know how to read people. I know when to cut my losses. I know what works and what doesn't. Your friendship with Miranda doesn't work and it's time you admit that."

Harvey straightened his tie and leaned back in chair with perfect posture. Offhandedly, he placed an order for dessert before sending the waiter away.

"Let me be clear: whether you take the job or not, Miranda is getting fired." A slight thumping noise came from the table as Harvey tapped it. "You're a smart woman, Donna, you know your friendship with her isn't going to last long. You can take her job and lose her friendship that way or you can watch her get fired and have a career opportunity slip through your fingers: your choice. But, even if you don't take the job, we both know that you will slowly be inched out of her life once she has kids. Your friendship with her is based on work and nothing else. Her new life won't be compatible with your present life. So, the way I see it: you might as well lose as friend and get a promising career out of it, rather than lose a friend and gain nothing."

The waiter came with the dessert and Harvey gestured for him to put it in front of Donna.

"I can see you're loyal, but not everyone deserves your loyalty." Donna wondered if Harvey was speaking from experience of if it was just an astute observation. But, all in all, everything he has said was true. She didn't want to step on other people in order to climb the career ladder, but was it really stepping on Miranda if she was out the door either way?

"What will her severance package be like?"

"More than generous," A smile played on his lips as he could see Donna was considering his offer.

'Considering,' Harvey inwardly scoffed; she was going to take it.

* * *

Months has passed since Donna had accepted Harvey's offer, which if she may add, was the one of the best decisions she had ever made. Working for Harvey was incredible and unbelievably fulfilling. Unlike her previous employer, Harvey respected her opinion and treated her like an equal.

Based on the little time Donna had been working for her new boss, she knew that being Harvey's legal secretary was going to be great for her career. Even more, she knew that she didn't want to work for anyone but Harvey Specter. If he ever decided to leave the DA's office, she might be inclined to follow him. Hell, she would, but she was afraid of the influence Cameron Dennis had over him. For a man who was so well at reading people, Harvey sure had a blind spot for Cameron. The District Attorney seemed to be his kryptonite.

Harvey's trust and loyalty in Cameron was far worse than hers with Miranda. It was a relationship that could possibly destroy him and turn him into a crooked person. Donna wished that Harvey would open his eyes and see the wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are, Donna?" Harvey said as he looked through the files she handed him.

"Amazing? That's it?" Donna picked the files back up. "I'm going to need a few more adjectives just for me to consider the idea of giving these back to you."

The ADA's eyebrow shot up before a wide grin spread across his face. "Hmm…spectacular, incredible, phenomenal, fantastic, extraordinary, one of a kind, marvelous, sensational, prodigious, unparalleled—"

"Why thank you, Harvey; you didn't have to say that," Donna teasingly as she held a hand to her mouth, and then waved at faked tears. "I didn't know I was that valued."

The room was quiet for a moment as the two grinned at one another. Donna sat the files on his desk and as she was pulling her hand away Harvey grabbed it. "No seriously, you're incredible. I am appreciative of you the great work you do."

Donna looked into his eyes for a moment. "Thank you."

A whirlwind of emotions came over Donna. Never had someone ever told her that they appreciated her, let alone her boss. She had always known her worth, but it was different to hear someone vocalize it.

"Close the door," Harvey instructed.

Donna stared at him questioningly, and then did as told. While she was closing the down, Harvey pulled out his secret stash of scotch and two glasses. After the appropriate amount was poured into each glass, he handed his legal secretary a glass when she sat down.

"So, Donna, are you this amazing outside of work?"

* * *

Throughout the apartment, laughter was bouncing off the walls. Tears were falling from Harvey's eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

"I can't breathe," He gasped as he grabbed his sides.

Donna threw a pillow at him. "It's not that funny, Harvey."

An audible sound came from the pillow as it hit Harvey.

"Yes, it is," he grinned at his secretary. Although it was late, Harvey was wired and he could tell Donna was as well.

One of the many things Harvey loved about his relationship with Donna was that she understood him. She understood his drive and she knew when to reel him back in or let him continue working. Every once in a while, she teased him about his workaholic nature, but ultimately, he knew she admired him and respected his determination to be the best.

After a moment of fluffing up the pillow that was thrown at him, Harvey sat it on the floor and put his head on the pillow.

"Do you remember the day I propositioned you?" Harvey asked out of the blue.

"Not as vividly as Diana Murphy remember hers, but yes," Donna grinned when Harvey started laughing again. Although she wasn't tired either, she lay on the couch and looked at Harvey's figure on the floor. "Why?"

"That person you saw that day is who I want to be," Harvey saw Donna's confused expression. "I mean, the lawyer you see is me, of course. But, the whole having a driver thing and being able to go to restaurants without reservations and ordering expensive meals…that was all for your benefit. That is where I plan to be, but I'm not there yet."

His confidence was amazing. The conviction in Harvey's voice astounded her. It was impossible to believe that Harvey wasn't going to be the lawyer—the person he planned to be. The goals he had set out for himself wasn't some far fetched dream, but a reality that hadn't happened yet.

"But, why?" As she spoke, Harvey positioned himself on his elbows and Donna mimicked him. "Why did you put on an elaborate show for me? I'm just a secretary."

"And I'm just a lawyer," Harvey fired back. "You aren't just a secretary. I don't know if you know this, but the other ADA's have had their eyes on you as well. The job you do is done exceptionally well and, with a job like ours, we need a person like you. I know you wouldn't have quit you job for some average lawyer, so I had to convince you that I was going places despite already building a name for myself. I had to prove myself to you."

Over and over Donna opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She was speechless. Was she really that valued, by not only Harvey, but other lawyers as well? Harvey thought he had to prove himself to her—he put on a charade for her. It's one thing to believe your presence is valuable, but another to be actively sought out.

"I'm speechless, Harvey. Flattered, but speechless," She sat up on the couch and ran a hand through her hair.

"Well, that's a first," he said playfully. After a moment of staring at Donna, he stared at his watch. "I better get going before I get you in trouble with Blake, which I still believe is a terrible name, by the way."

"What? You want him to change his name to something dignified like Harvey," Donna said as she leaned forward to shove Harvey.

"Yeah…Harvey means battle worthy, which is an astute name all things considering," It didn't surprise Donna that Harvey knew the meaning of his name. As she gave it further thought, she speculated that he might have changed it himself. "Blake just sounds like some douche's name or a child, either one. Personally, I think he's both."

"You know what? Get out," Harvey stood and Donna continued to playfully shove him. "I'm tired of you making fun of my boyfriend's name."

"I could make fun of him if you like," Harvey offered.

"You're one to talk, Specter," They began to gather paperwork and the rest of Harvey's stuff.

"Yes, I am," For emphasis, the word yes was stressed. "I don't date those girls."

"Oh, right," Donna put a finger to her mouth. "You just have adult sleepovers."

"Exactly," A kiss was placed on her forehead, and then Harvey turned to walk out the door. "I have more than enough time to find the right girl."

Later on, while Donna was preparing for bed, it occurred to her that Harvey kissed her forehead. She touched the spot where he lips once were, and then her fingers slowly slid down her face until it stopped at her own lips. His forehead kiss wasn't going to leave her mind anytime soon. As she thought about it, Specter meant to haunt or disturb the mind.

Harvey was right; he had a very astute name.

* * *

Saturday night was movie night for Donna and Harvey.

"I can't really believe this guy is a lawyer," Harvey complained while he chewed with celery in his mouth.

"He can't be that bad," Donna said as she got plates out the cabinet.

"Donna, I wish I could hire you in place of him," Another piece of celery went into Harvey's mouth. "Even though you have never gone to law school, you would be an instant upgrade over Foster."

"Besides the fact that it isn't in your job description to hire other lawyers—can you pass me the paprika," Donna said as she put the last finishing touches on their meal, and then continuing her original thought. "You could get serious trouble, if not, disbarred for hiring someone who isn't a certified lawyer."

"That is, if I get caught," Donna raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, but said nothing.

"So, what is for dessert this time?" She and Harvey alternated between cooking and bringing the dessert. It was a given that they took turns on who chose the movie. Surprisingly, Harvey had a high level of tolerance for most movies. He didn't discriminate based on genre, but rather, quality. If a movie was truly terrible, he became incredibly snarky.

Surprisingly, Harvey was engrossed in the film.

"Harvey, are you actually enjoying this movie?" Donna asked incredulously as she took the popcorn bowl from the ADA.

Harvey grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw pieces in his mouth one by one. After staring at Donne for a moment, and then smiling, he answered her, "Yes."

Donna grabbed some popcorn and threw it at him. "And you make fun of me for the movies I enjoy."

"Okay. I'll admit that, overall, this movie is terrible. There is no doubt about that. But, if you take away some of the features of the movie like unnecessary tension, lack of subtly, and the incompetent actors, it's actually a good story." Harvey explained.

This was like Harvey. He could take the most seemingly innocent thing and analyze it in ways that no one had ever thought of. The attention he paid to detail was uncanny. Everything was important to him and everything had its place. In his mind, everything had to have a place in order to make sense. Once categorized, it was put in a box, labeled, and stored. If needed, he knew where to find it.

Once Donna asked him, "How is it that you are so unflappable?"

They were in his office after a win and it amazed her how well he performed under pressure. Harvey smirked at her before looking to the ceiling in thought.

"What's the best way to get your desired outcome in a game?"

"To control the game," She responded confidently.

"Not exactly; it's one of the ways." He sat on the edge of his desk. "The best way to control the game is to control the opponent."

Intrigued dripped from Donna's face and Harvey smiled at her.

"You have to anticipate your opponent's next move. You can only control the game so much, but if you can get inside your opponent's head—to know what he is thinking, you will win that way. It doesn't matter if this person has a better strategy, if you are able to get inside his head, you can beat him." The tone of his voice said his strategy was obvious even though he knew it was anything but. "So, to answer your question, I'm unflappable because I know what my opponent is thinking."

This also explained why he was enjoying the movie at the moment. On the surface, it may have been terrible, but he knew the characters. He knew their motivations, what made them tick, and how he could manipulate them. It didn't matter that the director or actors didn't know; all that matter was the he understood the subject.

Did he understand her?

"Blake and I broke up?" She announced suddenly.

"I know," He responded while keeping his eyes trained on the movie.

Donna smiled, "You've been watching me the whole time, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I've seen this before. I didn't tell you because I wanted to see why you were…off tonight," He answered honestly. "How are you feeling?"

Harvey placed a hand on her knee and gently squeezed. If it were anyone else, she would have thought he was trying to make a move on her. But, this was Harvey. He would think it was cheap and sophomoric to try to make on a girl in a vulnerable state.

"I don't know…it's just that I feel that Blake and I are in two different places in our lives," Donna gave a tight-lipped smile to hold back the tears, but she knew it wasn't fooling Harvey. He pulled her into a hug and held her close.

As soon as she was enveloped in Harvey's arms, the tears poured from Donna's eyes. Truth was, the only difference they had was Harvey. Blake wanted Donna to either quit her job or work for someone else. He felt that she was too close to Harvey—that she had feelings for him and that he returned them. Donna swore that wasn't the case although she didn't believe it herself. Giving up Harvey wasn't as simple as Blake tried to make it sound. She would be giving up a great boss, fulfilling career (because she really was going places with him), and, inevitably, a best friend. It was all too much to lose. On the flip side, Blake was a guy she could see herself marrying and having kids with.

More than that, she did have feelings for Harvey and they went much deeper than her feelings for Blake. It wasn't fair to him that she wasn't fully invested or committed to him. It would be a lie if she said she didn't think that Harvey felt the same way because she did. And it was something that she wanted to explore. Harvey fulfilled her in many ways that no one ever has. Donna wanted to see where it could lead.

At the same time, it still didn't change the fact that Blake meant a great deal to her. She never meant to hurt him, but she couldn't help how she felt. She couldn't help that she as in love with Harvey and neither did she want to pass up an opportunity to be with him.

* * *

"I feel like there's a gun to my head," Harvey grumbled. In an exaggerated fashion, he made a gun with his middle and pointer finger and pulled the trigger with his thumb. His head snapped quickly in the opposite direction before he fell to the couch in slow motion. "I'm out of options."

It wasn't often that Harvey showed his playful side, even outside of work. But, there he was joking around despite his frustrations and it was amazing in Donna's eyes. Harvey lived and breathed work, but he would sneak in a moment of relaxation when she was around.

Slowly, but steadily, their relationship was changing. The line between professional and personal was increasingly becoming thinner. It was only a matter of time before they were more than whatever they were at the moment.

Donna poured herself and Harvey a cup of coffee. "Who are you and what have you done with Harvey Specter? You know, the man who is projected to be better than Cameron Dennis."

As Donna tried to hand Harvey the coffee, he pushed it away.

"Coffee is for closers," He deadpanned before taking the fresh, steaming liquid from her. Donna rolled her eyes playfully before sitting next to her boss.

"Oh, really?" Harvey sipped his coffee as he watched Donna's lips move.

Harvey sat his cup down, and then leaned over into Donna's personal space. His right arm reached across her body, so he could support his own weight and his left hand rested lightly on Donna's waist. And his mouth, his mouth grazed her ear as he whispered, "Yup."

Instantly, Donna crossed her legs. Harvey had the kind of effect on her; she was getting turned on entirely too quickly by him. Her panties were wet and she had a feeling that tonight was going to have to rub one out. The friction he conjured within her was unbearable at times.

"Well, like I said, if you are supposed to be better than Cameron," She paused to gather herself. Harvey was burying his head in the crooked on her neck and inhaling her scent. Her heart was racing, but her breathing was shallow. "If a gun is to your head, you should be able to figure out a million ways to get out of it. There is no way you can be the best closer and let yourself get back up into a corner."

"And this is exactly why I hired you," He whispered against the cheek. His mouth was by the corner of hers and it took all of Donna's being not to melt right then and there.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"It's easy: ABC," He stated matter of fact.

To say that they were always in each others orbit was an understatement.

Donna grinned at Harvey, and then ran a hand through her hair. "Always be closing."

"Always be closing," Harvey parroted.

"And how will you accomplish this?"

A mischievous grin danced across his face, which Donna believed had nothing to do with what he was about to say. "The only way I can win this case if I can control the outcome. I once told you the best way to win is to control you opponent. This case has way too many variables inside the courtroom."

"So, you're going to settle before it can get that far," She finished.

With a snap of his fingers followed by his pointer finger aiming at her, Harvey said, "Bingo."

* * *

"Ow…" Harvey yelled as he raised an amused eyebrow at Donna.

"Harvey," Donna said in a breathy tone. "You aren't playing fair."

"No, I'm playing for keeps." He said seriously.

Harvey rubbed his head where Donna had yanked his hair. The woman in question gestured for him to come closer to her, and then gently massaged his hair. After a few moments silence, Harvey groaned in pleasure before going back to his original task: exploring Donna's body.

He hadn't gotten far when Donna had yanked his hair, but he could sense that she was on edge. There had been sexual tension building between them for months and he loved to turn the temperature up whenever they were around each other. But, right now, it was beyond turning the temperature up; he was playing with fire.

After their ABC conversation, Harvey had it in his mind that he had to have Donna at that moment. He couldn't wait any longer and he wouldn't. Promptly, he had her on her back and was massaging her feet before moving his hands to other parts of her body. It was clear that Donna was tense and Harvey wanted to get her to loosen up. As much as she wanted to have sex with him, which was obvious, she also was apprehensive about what was about to happen.

So, he gave her a long, luxurious massage before ridding Donna of her pants, and then placing kisses up and down her legs. What got his hair yanked was the incessant teasing of a potential cunnilingus session. Harvey went back to teasing her nether regions after his brief hair massage and placed a kiss on the crotch of her panties. A groan escaped Donna lips while she thrust her hips near Harvey's face.

He placed quick, hurried kisses up her stomach to her breast as Donna gently ran her fingers through his hair. She moaned when Harvey placed his hips between her legs. Would it be cliché to say he was all man? The hardness of his cock could be felt through his suit pants and her panties. The constant rolling of his hips was bringing about a very real desire of friction.

In a wanton manner, Donna opened her legs wider as Harvey thrust against her. If he could do this with his clothes on, Donna could only imagine what he could do with his clothes off.

"You're such a fucking tease," Donna firmly pulled his head forward and softly cried out his name.

"I know," Harvey was bending down to kiss Donna when his phone rang. He hesitated for a moment. "I'll let the answering machine pick it up."

"Harvey, it's Cameron. Whenever you get this message, I need you to reach me as soon as possible…"

* * *

As predicted, she ended up rubbing it out in the end.

Afterwards, she felt empty, unsatisfied, unfulfilled…the list could go on.

Donna began to rummage through her closet for an old, trusted friend.

"Where are you, Mr. Johnson?" She asked aloud as she searched through boxes that hadn't seen the light of day for months. "I know you're in here."

It felt weird talking to a dildo as if it was a real person, but hey, she was desperate. Harvey had stirred something fierce within her and fingers weren't going to cut it. Before she met Blake, on a dare she had bought a dildo, but never used it. Well, it was definitely getting used today.

To kill two birds with one stone, Donna decided to take care of the deed in the shower. After she was done, she peacefully fell asleep.

Hours later Donna wished she could capture that serenity she felt earlier. Thoughts raced through her mind as she paced back and forth in front of Harvey.

"Donna, calm down," Harvey whispered soothingly in her ear. "What's wrong?"

"We can't do this," She said abruptly.

"Do what," There was a sinking feeling in his stomach because he knew what this was.

"Date, fuck, or whatever," Donna said loudly, but it wasn't yelling. "It just can't happen."

"Why the hell not?" Harvey was incredulous.

"Because we have so much to lose, Harvey, don't you get that," Donna choked out. "You mean everything to me and I couldn't bear the thought on losing you because we weren't able to make it work."

"Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. We can make this work, Donna, you just have to give me a chance," Harvey pleaded despite his controlled demeanor.

"We can never go back from this. Once it's done, it's done." Tears fell from her eyes as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I can't do it; this is not a chance I'm willing to take."

Harvey roughly rubbed his face with both hands before running a hand through his hair. He opened his mouth, but the words wouldn't come out. How could he explain his feelings to Donna? How he could he make Donna understand that they were supposed to be more than friends—they were supposed to be lovers in every sense of the word. Harvey wasn't the biggest fan of marriage, but he knew he wanted to marry her. He had no idea how he would be as a father, but he knew she would be a damn good mother. They would one kid and spoil the little one rotten—he knew it. But, why couldn't she see it? And why couldn't he get the words out?

It was Donna's fear that stopped him. Her fear was palpable and he wished he could eradicate it, but he knew it wasn't possible. Donna may have believed in Harvey at work, but this was the foundation of their relationship on the line—not just her heart. This was something she could not risk. She couldn't lose him like he couldn't lose her.

"Okay, so what do we do," Immediately, Harvey started to build a wall around his heart. He knew what she was going to do. It hurt Donna that Harvey wouldn't look at her. He was angry, that much was apparent.

"Harvey, you don't understand—"

"You're damn right, I don't understand. I know you're scared, but don't you see this scares me too," Harvey was in Donna's face. "I'm not angry because of your fears; I'm angry because you've already made about your mind about us without even talking to me about it." He paced back and forth for a moment. "If your mind is already made up, I don't need to know anything else, except where do we go from here."

Fade out…

"Come home with me tonight," Harvey whispered.

"Harvey," Donna said softly. "We talked about this."

"Cut the bullshit, Donna," Harvey scratched his neck. "You're not the only one who is scared, but you are the only one between the two of us who is letting your fear define you. If I let my fear define me when I was in the mail room, I wouldn't be the man I am now. Life is about taking risks, not playing it safe."

"That's easy for you to say," Donna snapped.

"Yes, it is and that is because I took chances." Harvey shot back. "It's been a decade, Donna, and I'm not going anywhere."

"I've never told you to wait—you did that on your own," Donna looked at the floor before staring at Harvey.

"You're right; you didn't, but I did. I'm scared as hell, Donna, but I love you. All I am asking for is this one night." Harvey took Donna's hands in his and lowered his head so they could have direct eye contact. "Give me the world, Donna, for this one night. We can do whatever you want and I promise I'll play by the rules next time."

Harvey pulled a key out and a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Donna. "You don't have to answer right now…just think about it. If it's a yes, meet me in two hours."

"Harvey…"

"Just think about it," Harvey joined the party and left her alone.

Donna stared at the paper and remembered the night they almost had sex. Hell, they hadn't even kissed on the lips. She was still empty, still restless, and still unsatisfied.

"But, could it ever be just one night," She whispered to no one in particular. In the pit of Donna's stomach, she knew she would never want it to be just once.

Later on, she sat in the taxi flirting with indecision.

"Ma'am, have you made a decision yet," The driver looked at her through his mirror. Donna had spent the last ten minutes switching back and forth between where she wanted to go.

"Can you take me to…" Donna rattled off the address as the taxi pulled off.

THE END

A/N: Well, first thing's first: this is unbeta'd, which I am sincerely sorry for. I get ideas in my head and don't finish them if they take too long to write or if I am very insecure about writing them. I didn't want to waste my time with a beta if I wasn't sure if I was going to post it. This may not necessarily be in character, but it is an experiment for me that I wanted to try out. Also, this story may be subjected to revision, but nothing drastic I believe. Additionally, I hadn't planned on having an open ending. I wanted the ending to be more definitive with them not getting together, despite me shipping Donna/Harvey, but that's where the shipper comes in ;-).

And like I said, if something seems as if it doesn't fit or feel unnatural, I'm most likely going to revise it. The only reason I'm posting it now without my official approval is because I know I can hold things off or not finish it. Also, I've been working on this fic for about 2-3 weeks and it's 1 in the morning where I am (so, this could look like a masterpiece to me and be absolute crap with refreshed eyes). lol


End file.
